Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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