is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have demons in me.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
