Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
