Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
