Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
