For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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