I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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