don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
