Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
