apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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