I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
is wine microwaveable?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
