Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
