worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
