we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize