how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
