I like to think it a success when the cops are called
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
