your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
