Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
