I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
