I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just pynch a tree in the face
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
