The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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