I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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