Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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