He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
