whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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