And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
