not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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