True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
