I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize