Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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