So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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