OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
