Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Boobs speak an international language.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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