need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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