I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
