Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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