I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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