i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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