Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
