If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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