i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
