Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
