similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
