It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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