I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
