I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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