I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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