is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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