you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
