piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
